And To All A Good Night
by Miles333
Summary: When tragedy strikes, Jake heads back to Forks. Feeling depressed after the death of someone close to him, he's willing to do anything to end the pain. With the help of Alice, Nessie sets out to find him. Will she succeed? J/R


**Disclaimer:** Not mine. But I _do_ own a t-shirt with Jacob on the front! :D

**A/N:** I really wanted to write a Christmas story this year, despite being really busy moving into a new house with my family, and all the other fics that I've been working on aren't going to be ready until next year. D: And so I picked _Twilight_ as my subject, then thought of this story. So enjoy, and don't forget to review! :)

**Summary:** When tragedy strikes, Jake heads back to Forks. Feeling depressed after the death of someone close to him, he's willing to do _anything_ to end the pain. With the help of Alice, Nessie sets out to find him. Will she succeed? J/R

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**Jacob's POV**

I went back to Forks for the funeral.

Leah had written me a letter, sending it to the new address I had given her four years year earlier, and told me very bluntly that my dad was dead. Thankfully, he had died of old age, not something painful like a heart attack or car accident.

I immediately got ready and ran for Washington. Bella had generously offered to go along with me, for moral support I guess, but I had quickly declined. I couldn't stand being around her, not after what had happened between us so long ago. And not after the tie of even mere friendship had been severed between us. And I doubted that she really cared, and was just offering to be polite. Nothing else.

It only took me about seven hours to run as a wolf to Forks, starting in Astoria, and running across Oregon's border and into Washington. I only stopped to rest a few times, when my paws were numb from the cold and I couldn't see through the near blizzard of falling snow.

When I finally reached the rez, I was dead tired. I stopped in the trees beside the house, panting heavily. I stared at the cars parked haphazardly across the snow and ice out front, then focused on the center of the heat blazing inside my body. I took a deep breath, then my fur began shrinking back into my skin, tail vanishing and paws tearing apart to form fingers and toes. I whined, my last sound as a wolf, then collapsed to the deep bed of snow beneath me.

There I lay for several minutes, then eventually clambered back to my feet when I got too cold to stay there any longer. Pulling my ratty shorts up from where they had been tied securely around my ankle, I took another deep breath and started towards the house. Before I could make it even halfway there, Leah came out of the house, closing the screen door softly behind her. Seth was right behind her, looking worried.

Without saying anything, my second-in-command slipped the jacket from her arms around my shoulders. I nodded gratefully at her; it felt good to be less exposed to the severe winter chill. Even though wolves didn't feel the cold as strongly, I'd been out in it long enough to begin feelings its effects. "How're you doing?" she asked quietly, stepping back once she was certain I was safely wearing the coat.

"What do you think? It's Christmas Eve, and I just found out that my dad is _dead_," I snapped. "And I haven't seen or talked to him in four damn years, because I've been staying with the leech family." There was silence for a few moments, the only sounds that of the wind whispering through the trees and snow lightly falling against the ground. Then I said tightly, "I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Jake. We understand." Seth clapped me awkwardly on the shoulder, then motioned with his head towards the house. "Er, Sam is here. And Quil. And Embry."

"_Great_. Just what I need," I growled under my breath, stalking towards the front porch. Not that it wouldn't be great to see Em and Quil, but I was coming to see my dead father before his funeral in a couple of days. And I sure as _hell_ didn't want to see Sam Uley right now.

"We could get rid of him if you want," Leah told me sincerely, as she walked briskly beside me. "We tried earlier, but…he just wouldn't _go_."

"No. I'll deal with him." I mounted the steps of the front porch, my movements suddenly becoming slower than molasses. I stared dully at the Christmas lights strung up on the railing, then pushed open the door. My heart started beating even faster, and I closed my eyes for several seconds before stepping over the threshold.

The inside of the house looked just as I remembered it, cluttered but with everything in its place. A ragged Christmas tree was set up in the corner, covered in pinecones and decomposing popcorn. A rusty star was placed reverently at the top of the tree, and the sight of it caused sudden tears to spring into my eyes. Why the hell had I stayed so far away from him for four whole years? I'd missed out on four Christmases, and Dad had been forced to spend them alone.

I walked over to the tree, ignoring the sound of the bedroom door creaking open. Biting down hard on my lower lip, I stared at the tattered package under the tree, my name printed neatly across the cheerful paper. A single tear fell free, and I hastily wiped it away before anyone else could see. Bending down, I picked the package up and tucked it under my arm. Then I turned towards the bedroom. Sam, Quil, and Embry stood in the door, staring at me solemnly.

"Get out of my way," I ordered roughly, in a voice that was too husky for my liking. I shoved past the three of them, then pushed the door open with a shaking hand. Without looking towards the bed, I turned to shut the door behind me.

"We're here for you if you need us, Jake," Quil told me softly, nodding once. I acknowledged his words with a brief nod of my own, then quietly closed the door.

I braced myself against the door for several moments, then slowly turned. I'd expected something to tell me that he was really dead, like his skin being extra pale or a deep cut across his chest or something. But instead, my father looked as though he was only sleeping, eyes gently closed and hands folded over his chest. Somehow, this was much harder.

I walked towards him, unable to even speak. I placed the package with my name on it with a shaking hand at the foot of the bed, then sank to my knees as my legs gave out. Pulling one of his clammy hands into mine, I buried my head against the worn blanket and cried.

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Nessie's POV

When Uncle Emmett and I walked in from hunting, I brushed the snow from my jacket and hung it on the rack beside the door. Then I pranced on into the living room, sensitive ears picking up the sound of voices. Emmett followed me, though at a slower pace. I couldn't figure out his mood, as he'd been more subdued than usual during our hunting trip. Something was definitely going on that I didn't know about.

In the living room, Grandpa Carlisle was reading on the sofa. Grandma Esme, Mom, Uncle Jasper, and Aunt Alice were decorating an enormous silver tree, which presents absolutely piled out from under. I had a feeling that most of them were for me, which I didn't exactly appreciate. I wished they would stop treating me like such a baby all the time, celebrating Christmas basically just for my sake.

"Hi, honey," Mom told me with a welcoming smile that seemed just a bit too tight for my liking. "Did you and Emmett have a good time?"

"We caught a herd of elk down near the stream," Uncle Emmett answered casually. "I think Ness got the biggest one, though."

I grinned and elbowed him just a little too hard in the ribs, ignoring the grimace that spread across Mom's beautiful face when he mentioned my nickname. Moving forward, I reached for a golden ornament from the box that Jasper was dutifully holding up for Alice. "Can I help with the tree?" I asked eagerly, already standing on my tiptoes to delicately hang the ornament on a branch.

"Sure, sweetheart. We've still got plenty to do," Mom said, annoyance apparently already forgotten. She took a bulb from Jasper and hung it next to mine. "Esme wants to decorate the fireplace next, then start with the mistletoe."

I grinned mischievously. "Good. I'll have to find Jake, then. He can help me with some of that mistletoe," I declared enthusiastically, expecting a few laughs. Puzzlingly, I got none. Instead, there was an awkward silence. "What's going on, anyway?" I demanded, brow furrowing as I tried to keep my temper. "What are all of you hiding from me?"

"I'm going to go see how Edward and Rosalie are doing with the lights on the roof," Grandpa Carlisle said, standing up and slamming his book closed. Leaving it behind on the sofa, he vanished in a blur of motion out the back door.

"It's nothing, dear," Grandma Esme assured me, placing one cool hand on my shoulder. "He's just out somewhere right now. No one's really sure what he's up to. I'm sure he'll return shortly."

"Probably, knowing Jake, he's up to no good," Mom joked, lamely attempting to get my mind off the subject. "As usual."

Aunt Alice unexpectedly swayed on the ladder she had been standing on, dropping a bulb. Uncle Jasper lunged forward and caught it, dropping the entire box he'd been holding in the process. Mom leapt forward and caught _that_ just in time.

"Are you okay?" Mom asked her worriedly, handing the box of bulbs to Grandma Esme.

"Fine," Aunt Alice said unsteadily, jumping lightly to the ground. "Just…it's nothing. I'm going to go upstairs for a few minutes." She looked me right in the eye, something sparkling in her own golden depths that I didn't recognize. Uncle Jasper made a move to follow her, but she firmly held up a hand for him to keep working. "Stay here and finish up. I'll be right back," she promised, hurrying up the stairs.

There was a moment of silence, then Grandma Esme announced, "Shall we start with the blue bulbs now?"

Mom agreed, then she and Uncle Jasper started rooting around for the correct box. While they were distracted, I slipped up the stairs after my surrogate aunt, sensing that she was hiding something from the others. When I reached the correct door, I pushed it open without knocking and stepped inside. Aunt Alice was sitting on the edge of the bed, obviously waiting for me. I closed the door and moved to stand in front of her. "Where's Jake?" I said bluntly, after several seconds of silence.

"His dad died, and he's gone to Forks to attend the funeral," she answered solemnly. It was strange to think of her acting solemn, when she always seemed so pixie-like, so full of life. "Bella and Edward didn't want to upset you, so none of us were supposed to tell you."

I gasped at the unexpected revelation. "Jake's dad _died_?" I cried out, though not loudly enough that the others could overhear from downstairs. Unless they were already eavesdropping, anyway. "When? Where? _How_?" My voice broke, and I blinked rapidly to hold back tears. I couldn't imagine the pain Jacob had to be going through. Thankfully, I would never experience the pain of one of my parents dying, as they were both immortal. But Jake unfortunately wasn't that lucky.

"He died in his sleep yesterday. Leah Clearwater sent a letter through express mail to warn Jacob of the funeral," she said softly. "He left early this morning, before you got up."

Damn it! I hated being the only one who needed sleep! I always missed out on _everything_! I felt like stomping my foot, and barely managed to retrain myself. Punching a hole through the floor wouldn't have done much good, though it damn well would have made _me_ feel better.

"Well, why didn't Mom or Dad go with him?" I questioned her. "He'll need someone to help him with his grief."

"Bella offered, but Jacob declined."

I waited several seconds, mind whirring as various thoughts tumbled wildly through it. Then I asked flatly, "What was your vision about?"

"You of course know that I can't see either you or Jacob," she explained. "But I had a vision of Bella, demanding of me where you had gone." She stopped, evidently to let me figure out the rest on my own.

"And you think I went after Jake," I completed thoughtfully, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes.

"I _know_ it, actually," she agreed, seeming to brighten now that her plan was falling smoothly into place.

"And so I need to go to Forks and find him, help him," I added, a plan of my own already dropping into place. "Right?"

"Yes, I think that's it," she replied in a smug tone of voice. "I'll cover for you, say I sent you to the store for some green bulbs. I happen to know that Jazzy is going to break the entire box of them in about half a minute." She smiled at something only she could see. "Edward and Bella will be angry with me, but at least they won't know you've gone after Jacob."

"Thanks _so_ much, Alice." I gave her a quick hug, and she stood, just as the sound of shattering glass came from downstairs.

"I'll cover for you. You…go after Jacob." Aunt Alice smiled secretively at me, then vanished out the bedroom door.

I waited for a few seconds, then took off for the back staircase.

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Jacob's POV

I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, the bedroom had gone dark. It took a few seconds for my dazed brain to adjust, then I stiffly sat up. My dad's body was just where I had left it, and so was the package he had made for the son he had probably never expected to come back. I wasn't really in the mood to open it right then, so I stood, joints creaking, and strode over to the dresser. Roughly yanking open a drawer, I almost reverently placed the package inside for safekeeping. Then I walked back over to the bed and stared down at my father.

Swallowing hard, I gently took the hand I'd been holding before going to sleep and placed it with the other on his chest. Then I took a quick step away, already feeling the hot tears brewing in my eyes. I didn't plan on crying again, so I instead headed for the door.

The others got to their feet when I threw open the door, sending it with a crash like thunder into the wall behind it. I noticed that all of them were still here, even Sam. They stared wordlessly at me as I stared back at them, and the thought suddenly occurred to me that I probably looked like crap.

"I'm going out," I said gruffly. "I'll be back in a few hours." It was my intention to go for a long run as a wolf, to work out my problems with each powerful stride, with each mile I ran. I could only pray that it would work for a short amount of time, since I knew it wouldn't work forever.

Leah made a move to come over to me. "I'll go with you–"

"No. I'll be fine on my own," I interrupted firmly, drawing my brow down into a threatening frown. "When I get back, we'll talk about the…_funeral_." My voice cracked on the last word, and I looked away from them.

Seth looked worried in my peripheral vision. "Jake, I don't think–"

I ignored him, striding out the front door and practically running down the steps. My body ached and throbbed in various places, especially my feet and hands, but I didn't stop, _couldn't_ stop. Despite the seven-hour trip there, I needed to get out, away from the horror of my dad's death. I didn't want to even think about it.

Once I was safe within the protective trees, I focused on the heat inside my body. Shifting, I fell onto all fours and threw back my head towards the dark sky. A tortured howl burst from my lips, rising and falling on the icy breeze and showing all within hearing distance my horrible grief. I knew that those inside the house had heard as well, but was beyond caring. I raced into the forest, feeling an overwhelming tide of emotions that threatened to take me over.

I had to get away from all this.

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Nessie's POV

I reached Forks in a matter of hours, probably around two or three, and felt completely exhilarated from the run. I'd never run so long, never used my muscles so extensively. Despite the lack of good game that I'd smelled on the way there, the trip had been an utter blast.

Except for the reason why I was there, of course. Just thinking about it made me feel depressed.

I went straight to Jake's house, which was a wooden structure way out in the middle of the Quileute reservation. When I got there, I hurried up the sagging porch steps and rapped loudly on the front door, stamping snow from my boots. I would have just gone right in, but I didn't want to be rude if anyone else was staying with Jake at the moment.

Seconds later, the door creaked open. Someone I vaguely recognized as Leah Clearwater peered warily through the small opening that had been formed. "Oh. You're one of the Cullens. Renesmee," she muttered flatly as a greeting.

"Nessie," I corrected her.

"Yeah. So, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be in Astoria. That _is_ where you've all been living these past few years, isn't it?" There was obviously no love lost between Leah and I, whether I knew it or not.

"I'm here to see Jake. I, _we_, were worried about him."

"You obviously weren't _very_ worried if you made run for seven hours by himself to get here," she ground out, eyes narrowing.

"I didn't even know he was _gone_!" I shouted, feeling my temper dangerously starting to rise. "How the hell was I supposed to come with him if my family kept it from me?"

"I don't know. Aren't you leeches mind readers or something?" she snapped hotly.

Before I could reply with an equally scathing response, the doorway opened wider. Sam Uley stood inside, gently moving Leah aside. "He isn't here," he told me in a grave voice. "He's gone out to run." He hesitated, then something flared in his dark eyes. "You have to stop him, before he does something to hurt himself. I don't know _what_ he'll do in this state."

I nodded briskly, then stepped lightly off the porch and into the swirling snow. I sank up to my ankles in it, and frowned up at the sky. It was coming down ever harder than it had been on my way here, which wasn't good. The extreme weather conditions were going to make it hard to find Jake, and if what Sam said was true, then I needed to find him as soon as possible.

Raising my face to the breeze, I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. A faint scent of wolf met my nostrils, and I turned in the correct direction. _Jake, I'm coming. Please don't do anything stupid._

I raced as fast as I possibly could into the trees.

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Jacob's POV

When I was too tired to run anymore, and when even my advanced vision couldn't pick up anything in the blizzard closing in around me, I shifted back to human form and pulled my shorts up to my waist. Then I sank down into the deep snow beneath a tree and stared blankly into the whiteness, trying to think of absolutely nothing at all. I felt dead, muscles aching in agony from all the running, especially in this weather.

I don't know how long I sat there, but it was long enough for the snow to start thickly blanketing my body. And still I didn't move, even as I felt flakes gathering on my eyelashes. I didn't even blink, barely breathed. Even as the cold began to numb my body. In fact, I nearly missed the blur of motion racing by me so quickly that it couldn't have been anything other than a vampire.

Seconds after it went past, it came back to me. Nessie dropped to her knees in front of me, beautiful eyes wide with horror as she gazed at me. For some reason, she grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me roughly back and forth. "Oh my God! Jake, _Jake_! Can you hear me? Oh my God!"

For some strange reason, I found that I couldn't really answer her. Oddly enough, I couldn't seem to get my lips to move enough to answer her. I took a deep breath through lungs that ached with cold and felt like they were cracking from the inside out, then involuntarily coughed.

"Oh, thank God! Jake, you're alive!" She pressed her forehead to mine, hugging my snow-coated body close to hers. I couldn't even feel the iciness of her skin, which had me slightly worried. But not enough to really do anything about it. "Are you _okay_?" she cried.

"Sure…sure," I managed to gasp out through frozen lips, finding the effort of speaking the words pretty damn painful.

Nessie pulled back, eyes focused on mine. "How could you be so _stupid_? You could have been _killed_!"

"I'm…fine." I sat up a little straighter, back against the bark of the tree behind me. "Wha…" I had to swallow hard in order to continue speaking, finding that my throat was dry, despite all the snow piled all over my body. "What the hell are you _doing_ here, Nessie?"

"I came after _you_," Nessie said brokenly, her eyes looking slightly wet. "Alice told me where you went, and I wasn't _about_ to let you do this on your own." She paused, obviously thinking of what to say next. "Jake, why did you _do_ this? Why were you trying t-to _kill_ yourself?"

"I wasn't trying to…it wasn't…it just sort of _happened_," I admitted, not meeting her earnest gaze.

"_Why_? _Why_ would you do something like this?"

"Because…of my dad, I guess," I muttered, not really sure what to say. Feeling had started slowly coming back into my limbs, and I was already wishing that it hadn't. "And because…I don't really feel like I have anything to live for. Now that he's dead…all I can do is follow you and the Cullens around." I shook my head, sudden numbness not from the cold, but from the disappointed way that she was looking at me.

"How could you _feel_ that way? _I _care about you, Jake!" she burst out.

"I…I thought it was because of the imprint. That maybe you pretended just for my sake, because I was 'in _love'_ with you." Out loud, it sounded even worse than it had in my dazed mind.

"_No_!" she cried, sounding completely frustrated with me. "And did you ever think that an imprint can work both ways, Jake?" She leaned close to me again, tears shimmering in her brown orbs. "I _love_ you, Jacob Black."

My breath rattled harshly in my chest, and I swallowed. The motion burned my painful throat, but I didn't care. "I-I love you too, Ness," I managed to croak out. "And…I'm sorry." Now that I was starting to think clearly again, I couldn't _believe_ that I had been so damn idiotic. Why had I wanted to freeze to death when I had Nessie Cullen waiting for me? I wanted to marry her someday, if I could ever get past Edward and Bella.

I struggled into a standing position, nearly falling over when I put weight on my legs. Ness lunged forward and caught me just in time, keeping me from toppling head-first into the snow and staying there. She smiled at me, making me notice just how close our mouths were together. "Let's get back to your house," she said softly. "You need some rest."

"Yeah, and a hot bath. Maybe a sponge bath?" I leered melodramatically at her, trying to hide just how weak I really felt.

"Don't push your luck, Black," she replied, at that moment sounding horribly like her father. Now _that_ was really something that made me shudder. "Now, let's get going."

And we headed for home, just as the snowstorm began to clear.

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Please review, and merry early Christmas! :D


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